Underworld: Awakening, Film Review

The first Underworld movie was amazing, so much so that it spawned three sequels. And while UW2 and 3 did little to live up to the original, the fourth installment hopes to revive the franchise with the return of Kate Beckinsale in her role as Selene.  The following review has some spoilers, so be warned.

The Good

Kate Beckinsale looks great

The sets keep the same dark feel as the original

The film is (for the most part) well-acted

The Bad

The film seems very rushed. And coming in at onlt an hour and twenty-eight minutes it seems incomplete

I’m tired of 3d. I don’t see what it added. At 13 bucks a ticket I left feeling robbed

The film fails to bring anything new to the table

Scott Speedman is not in the film(except in flashback from the first film), but Michael Corvin appears several times and the body double looked nothing like Speedman and leaves you wishing that they just left the character out rather than insult your intelligence with a poor stand in

Handguns with 15 round clips still fire 78 bullets before needing to be reloaded (nothing new there, but it still irks me)

The Ugly

The new hybrid looks like Samara from The Ring, and does nothing in the film, save to look stupid and hang on people’s back.

The movie goes too far and abandons any physics what so ever. OK, I know, genre fiction tests, blurs, and often ignores the laws of physics, but UW4 goes to a level of absurdity that forces the viewer to suspend disbelief to such a level that it infringes on enjoyment.  My biggest complaint is the character Quint (played by Kris Holden Ried), he is a werewolf that has been injected with a serum that makes him regenerate instantly and increases his muscle mass. Fine, nbd, but the 150 pound Quint become literally the size of an elephant when in lycan form. How in the hell does a 150-pound man become a 1,000 pound lycan? Where does the extra mass come from? He shifts back and forth, back and forth, 150lbs – 1,000 lbs  Give me a break. A 150 pound man should be a 150 pound lycan.

Hollywood needs to stop trying to create bigger explosions every movie and try to write detailed stories and memorable characters.

Overall Underworld: Awakening is a complete train wreck and should be avoided (or at most, rented)

D+

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3 Responses to “Underworld: Awakening, Film Review”

  1. Nice review. Won’t be wasting my time with that movie now, for sure. I definitely agree that a 150lb man should be a 150lb lycan. And, let’s be clear, a 150 lycan could feasibly jump around and tear people limb from limb. Chimpanzees get to be about 130lbs max and those things would wreck a human. They just have their muscles arranged a bit differently.

    But in Hollywood-land, only things the size of postal trucks can be strong.

    • I like the Underworld movies, and I was really excited about this one. I tried to find more good stuff to say about it, but…

      Plus I completely agree with you about chimps. I fought one in a K-Mart dumpster in 87 and I got my monkey ass whooped (pun intended).

  2. What bothered me the most were the obvious they ignore, and details that don’t fit. For example, Selene comes out of her frozen pod with perfect hair, SPARKLY LIPSTICK, and is skinny as ever (I can forgive the last part, since we’re supposed to assume that her strength is supernatural in origin…). She wears this same lipstick throughout the movie. Next, where did she get her automatic pistols from? The facility security team did not have automatic pistols, as far as I know, yet she wields them from the get-go… not to mention the near-infinite rounds and invisible mags she keeps on her person through the entire movie. Not sure where she hides the extra mags, since she’s wearing a skin-tight plastic-looking outfit that never rips in spite of how many times she’s thrown against and through walls.

    Also, after exiting the hidden underground vampire sactuary, she obtains her leather coat from some unknown location that fits her as if it were made from her. Just poof, there it is! Am I supposed to assume that she was keeping it there for safekeeping, or…?

    As for the werewolf transformation, I wasn’t too bothered by that. They are supernatural. Every werewolf gets stronger and tougher… where does the extra mass come from? *shrug* The same place the extra speed and strength comes from that vampires have. It’s supernatural in origin, so I just assume that whatever injection the guy got enhanced his lycanthropy to a severe potency… which would probably reduce his lifespan significantly, but his stupidity killed him (why in the world did he shrink back to normal form in order to reach her in the tunnel? make yourself vulnerable and get really close to your opponent and see what happens…lol) before we got a chance to see that.

    Lastly, the entire film series ignores the fact that vampires DO NOT BREATH. I’m tired of seeing vampires out of breath…

    There was a bunch of other stuff, but I tried to ignore them in an attempt to enjoy the film.

    In spite of all this, I do enjoy the series and consider them one of the best vampire flicks ever produced.

    I’m anxiously waiting for a film that is based off the World of Darkness books and stays true to the details they provide about vampires. Oh well. 😉

    – Phil

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